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Daily & Mutual Submission in Our Marriage

In a couple of days, I will have been married for a full 5 months! We are still babies, but lots has been learned in such a short amount of time.

I just wanted to give a brief post on ways I am seeing Ephesians 5:21 in my marriage, which states…

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

I love how we are (as the Body of Christ & married people) called to mutual submit to each other. The word used for “submit” or “subject” in the Greek implies the same type of submitting that would happen in an Army between officers, cadets, etc. Ephesians calls both the husband and wife to do this to each other, but emphasizes it with the wife (v.33). While, the husbands submission is emphasized as love & sacrifice (v.33). I think this is because,(generally speaking) it is harder for a wife to submit in respect (refer to Gen. 1:16b) and harder for a husband to submit in love. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs expounds on this thought in his new book,  Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.

Obviously, there will be times in a married couple’s life where submitting is costly. It could be a career change or a big move that one spouse may not be fond of. Then, a submission that recognizes that the marriage is where your allegiance is instead of with yourself may need to take place. But, those times are typically few and far between. I am not experienced with that kind of submission. So, what I want to address in this blog is the everyday, mutual submission.

Day-by-Day Submission

1. A few months ago, we had the opportunity to join the school’s rec center. But, we could only afford for one person to join. We both had equally convincing reasons as to why one should join instead of the other. But, I chose to encourage Danny to join instead of fight for the membership. This isn’t because I didn’t want to join. It’s just because I saw it as a way to put his desires above mine. A way to show him that I’m out for his well-being and happiness more than my own.

2. Often, while grocery shopping I’m torn between a dessert Danny likes to eat and a cereal I like. Usually, both aren’t in budget. So, sometimes I practice submission by grabbing his favorites over mine. This is again, a little way to help him. It’s a little way to put him before me.

3. Danny and I disagreed about our preferences for housing arrangements in Singapore. We both agreed that living with each other alone was the first priority. But, if that couldn’t happen I thought it was best to live with our partner and he thought it best to live with a host family. Instead of pushing for his #2 to become my #2 he ‘submitted’ to my desire and chose to work towards us living with our partner if necessary.

These are just a couple of examples. But, what I want to show is that mutual submission is practicing the basics of Christianity. It is the essence of serving and placing another above yourself like Jesus did. Mark 10:45:

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many.

~~~What are some ways submission has occurred in other couple’s lives? What are common misconceptions about biblical submission?~~~

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